Emily & Tony's World Tour: June 2009

This blog is a little late due to the fact that the Chinese government banned it so while I was in China so I couldn't update it!

We arrived in Hong Kong to chaos. Kawloon is the backpacker area of Hong Kong and people literally pounce on you. We got off the bus and about seven people crowded around us trying to offer us places to stay. Emily was admanant and lied that she knew where she was staying and to leave us alone. However the wouldn't quit and followed us up the road. Emily got angry and keep telling them to just go away which evenually turned into just fuck off. We finally got rid of them and then safely inside the building with all the small hostels inside, another man approached us asking if we were hot. We told him just hassled! Then he had the cheek to squeeze in the lift with us to try and make him stay at his guesthouse. Emily squeezed out the lift at a different floor and he tried to pull her back in. Fortunately we escaped!!! Bastards!

In the evening we watched the laser show over Hong Kong Island.

The next day we got up and went to Victoria Peak where we could see the view over Hong Kong. We had a good day for it. There was a complex up on the peak so it was a really good visit. We walked past all the huge banks on the way back and then got a ferry back to our island.

After breakfast we went to The Hong Kong History Muesum and stayed there all day! We learnt about the two opium wars where the British invaded China because they didn't like the fact that the British were getting the Chinese population hooked on Opium so they destroyed the British ships carrying it. The Chinese were ill equiped when the British invaded them so to get them to leave China they gave the British millions of talets of Gold and Hong Kong! We also found about the Japanese invasion of Hong Kong during the second world war and the fate of the Japanese once they lost the war. The muesum informed us about how the British built up Hong Kong and when the time came to give it back to China the people of Hong Kong protested against it. However Britain honoured the agreement and handed over Hong Kong to China in 1997 on the agreement that they wouldn't change Hong Kong for 50 years.

We left our hostel expecting hassle from the arsehole 'fake bag, fake watch' fuckers but managed to avoid them. We got down to the station and jumped on the train to China. We arrived in Guangzhou and stayed on Shamian Island which was the orignal base camp for the westerners who used to trade with the Chinese. We got showered and headed to the German Restaurant but it looked like it wasn't that far on the map but it was ages away. After a hour walk we were there. Emily was starving to death having ate nothing all day but it was expensive for China's usual prices. Once back at the hostel Tony fought the German for the computer!

The next day we got woken up by the plumber trying to fix the sink unsuccessfully. We tryed to find the People's cafe as we heard it was good but 10 km later we were still no closer and bailed for a subway. Some Yank inside explained where the Cafe was (defo the Lonely Planet's shit map's fault) and we wandered over just to see how close we had got. Then we headed to the main station to get our tickets for Gulin. Not straight forward. At the station you have to go next door. After queuing up and a bit of Chinglish later we managed to score what looked like the tickets and checked it with the hostel later. We went down to Suzanne's place to use the 'free' internet which was slow and expensive. Cheeky fucker wondered why we wouldn't purchase something from her shop. We walked around the area looking at all the statues and the first ever western buildings.

The next day the German decided to play a game on his phone at top volume at 6:30am until Tony asked him to stop and discussed the possibilities of throwing water or throwing his phone out the window with Emily. He evenually got up and left the room. Our first stop of the day was off to see a Tower that the British had took over during the Opium War and the five goat statue which apparently brought corn to the people a million years ago. We tramped up a thousand steps and back down again to find what we were looking for. Chinese signposting is very bad. As we were sweating we decided to head to the air conditioned Mueseulam.

This Mueseulam was where they found an ancient king buried which was 1000 years old. His body had decayed. They had a massive thing for Jade thinking that it would preserve the body and spirit so it would give them energy for the afterlife - idiots! They also ate sulphar as they thought it was good for health benefits. They family tree that we were shown proved it didn't. The first Emperor ruled for 67 years before he died. The next 16 years, then 10 years, 2 years and finally 1 year! However they were way ahead of the Europeans on BBQ technology and they used bronze! 1000 years before the Europeans started using it.

That evening after dinner war broke out. As Tony was on a top bunk he had the air con blowing into his face. Therefore he turned the air con down slightly. The German who does speak English but has selective language started shouting at Tony in German. Tony pretended he didn't think he was talking to him as he had choosen to speak German and carried out sorting out his covers. When Tony turned around the German was still shouting which we knew was about the air con. Tony explained that it was blowing in his face and if he didn't like it he should move beds. The German stormed out and got a fan from reception.

We got woken up early the next day by the German in a revenge attack for turning down the air con. He set his alarm to go off every five minutes from 5;30am and left the room - Bastard. We headed to the Orchard Garden but it raining so hard so we went to the Peasents Movement Institute which was lame. It was basically a place where they used to train communists. Mao himself was meant to have worked there. We left for the 17 storey Pagoda which had lots of Buddha temples around and then we found the emptist cathedral ever which was beautiful. It was so impressive. Finally we went to the market to check out the live dogs, cats, fish, birds and tortoises on sale to eat. Then Emily's feet could take no more which meant Tony was only a second away from being killed so we went back to get something to eat and board our night train to Guilin.

On the night train we met a young Chinese family with two girls. Someone was selling little kids toys so we brought little Lucy a present to give her when we returned. We entertained the young children on the train with it. Thankfully they didn't scream all night. Some arse decided to talk on his phone at 4am at top volume. The Chinese always speak really loud in general. They are completely inconsiderate of anybody around them. we don't think they mean to be - it's just the way they are!

We arrived in Guilin at 7am in the morning and we have not slept well so as soon as we got to the hostel we went for a sleep. When we got up we went to find the soilitary beauty peak and ended up going to Fuan hill instead! We thought it was the right one until we got the tickets!! It was a big trek up the hill but the views were brilliant. There was also a cave at the bottom so we went in there afterwards. They were trying to sell us pearls all the time though.

The next day we got on the bus to Yangshuo. The bus was not clearly labelled with the destination. A young and friendly Chinese man made sure we got on the right bus. At the other end we couldn't find our accommodation. Tony got really stressed out but fortunately we got there in the end and we had a gorgeous cheap room! For the rest of the day we went to Green Hill peak where an old lady took us up. We hate it when people follow us because they always want paying. Luckily we were too fast and left her behind! On the rock there were chinese carvings and we saw some small temples.

On our first full day we rented bikes and cycled 8km to Moon Hill. At the top of Moon Hill there is a limestone creasent (half moon shaped). It was about 38 degrees and climbing the hill was a nightmare. There were 2000 steps and the old ladies selling water wanted to climb up with us. One persisted and she kept fanning Emily because her thick hair was making her sweat so much. Plus the old lady took some photos of us at the top. Bonus!! We had to buy water off her though but we needed it. Next we went to Dragon Cave which turned out to be really good. However its true what they say, Chinese tourists are the worst! The push and take photos constantly!! So we were in the Cave for ages although it was really cool in the cave so we didn't mind as it was mega hot outside. In the cave there was illuminated rocks so it was very beautiful. It was full of water so a little boat took you along. This were places where you got off the boat and this is when the Chinese tourists took a very long time taking a thousand photos. Finally we cycled to see the 1500 year old Banyan Tree. It was massive and over the years it had grown branches to support its branches that were aging - amazing stuff.

On the way home Tony thought it would be a great idea to take the scenic route. Emily wasn't sure because she was fully aware that Tony cannot be trusted with a map and that it would be better to go the way we come because it was already evening time. However Tony persisted. As Emily predicted we come to a dead end where people were trying to make us get on Bamboo rafts. Four ladies crowded us while we were still on our bike trying to sell us what looked like walking sticks! We rode off so fast! Tony lead us through paddie fields and we had no idea where we were going. Fortunately we came out onto a road. Emily was so knackered and hot that she nearly fainted.

The next day we took a boat cruise so we could relax. We floated down the the River Li and learnt that the 'walking sticks' that the old ladies were trying to sell us were water pistols! There were fantastic views and we saw the scenic view that has been printed on the Chinese notes. It was all so beautiful.

We left Yangshuo and headed back to Guilin. Once in Guilin we actually found the Soiltary Beauty Peak. They charged us 50 Yuan each to get in and it wasn't worth paying for! It was packed with Chinese tourists. There were a few temples in there and caves but to get rid of the Chinese tourists the best thing to do is to climb the peak. The Chinese are lazy! The never climb hills. The only time they run is to get a seat on the tube and then they climb all over each other to get the seat! Awful. Anyway up the peak it was great. We were by ourselves and the views were fantastic. Then we walked around the lake and watched the Chinese do their Moo Thai exercise. That was very interesting to watch.

On our last day we headed to the seven star park. It was a massive 165 hetres. Everything about it was wonderful. There were caves, mountains, temples and monuments as well as some waterfalls. We went to the free zoo and went to the reptile exhibition. We were so shocked to see a crocadile in a really small cage. Turtles were in cages with no water! It was terrible to see. We then went off to see the Monkeys and again nothing in their cage for them to eat, drink or play with! Tony found a miner bird that could say Hi, Hello, How's it going and Fuck off. He loved it! Finally we went to see a Panda and it was in such a sorry state. The Chinese do not care for their animals the way they should. The Panda was in a room with only a small bundle of leafs and an empty bowl of water. We felt so sorry for it.

The next day we left Guilin and got on the flight to Xian. On the flight Emily had a spare seat next to her and as soon as the flight took off the Chinese were queuing to sit next to her to have their picture taken with her. It was unusual that they queued as the Chinese do not queue!!!! They push. On all the buses they push and people pop onto the bus rather than get on! Anyway everybody knows that the Chinese love taking photos. About 18 people sat next to Emily to have their picture taken. During the first four photos we were pulling faces and being stupid but then it just got embarrassing.

In Xian we got up early to catch the bus to see the terracotta warriors. On arrival we were hassled by people trying to sell us stuff. We made a mistake by going to the largest pit first. We intended to go to the smallest pit first and work our way up but as the pits were not clearly labelled so we did it the wrong way around. Pit 3 was so impressive. Apparently a farmer was digging for water when he found it. It contained 1500 life sized figure warriors made of clay and every warrior looked different! Imagine discovering that! All the warriors were in battle formation and guarded the tomb of the past Emperor. It is believed that all of this was developed as the Emperor at the time thought that he could still rule in the afterlife - arrogant sod!

After we saw all three pits we went to the Mueseum. Upstairs there were photos of ancient and natural wonders of the world. There were only about 60 photos so they didn't have all of them. We counted that we had already done 17 on this world tour!!

The following day we did a self planned city tour. We took a look at the Bell tower, the Muslim quarter including the mosque and the history museum. The muesum was good but there were too many Chinese tourists!

After Xian we flew to Beijing. When we got off the plane we got the train into town. A friend called Jeremy who we meet in Xian came with us. We were lost in Beijing and had been lost for the last hour and as our flight was so early we were knackered. As a last ditch attempt three men on push bikes with carriages attached told us they would take us for three yuan each - 30p. Jeremy persuaded us to take it so we jumped on. They took us around backstreets and really disorientated us and then stopped and we didn't see our hostel. They started asking us for the money. Jeremy said that they weren't being paid until we see our hostel. One of the men said he couldn't get his bike down there so Jeremy told them to walk with us and we will pay them outside the hostel. They spoke to each other in Chinese and we pointed at our map and asked a local woman. She pointed in the other direction and the men crowded around her talking in Chinese. She shook her head and kept pointing to us that it was in the other direction. Then the men told us to get back on the bikes. They took each of us to another backstreet and stopped. To check we had been taken to the right place this time we asked a young Chinese man who spoke English. He explained that the hostel was around the corner but the road is being dug up so crossing the road is going to be difficult. With that we agreed to pay the men. Tony told Jeremy not to worry about paying as he had a ten yuan note. Tony pulled it out and handed it to one of the men. He turned around and said no 300 yuan each. Tony laughed in his face. They were con men. Our double room with private bathroom was 100 a night and they want 300 off each of us - yeah right. We started walking up the street and a man followed shouted money. Tony handed him the 10 yuan note again and said 'there's your money' The man angrily slapped it out on his hand onto the floor as if that had just offered him. We knew that a taxi would have cost 8 yuan. One of the men started pushing Tony in the chest. Fortunately we were both very calm and Tony kept calling the man a thief. Luckily we saw a security guard at the end of the road and waved at him. He walked down and the men ran away so fast! They are scared of authority. Our hostel was around the corner.

The next day we went to the Forbidden city. This is the place where all the past Emperor's/Emperoresses/Concubines and officials lived years ago. It was so well perserved. The housing were all small but grand temples. It took us four hours to get around. We went to a park after to watch the sunset over the forbidden city. They labelled a place in the park where the last Emperor hung himself from a tree! Nice.

The next day we went to the GREAT WALL OF CHINA!!!!!! FANTASTIC. We went to a secret part of the wall where it had not been restored. We drove past and watched all the other tourists on the crappy restored wall. It was wicked because we went to the original wall! This old lady led us through the forest and up the mountain to get to it. She was so quick! On the wall our group spread out on their own so we literally had the wall to ourselves! No Chinese Tourists!! Climbing up and down the wall was so tough. It went up and down the sides of mountains. No wonder so many people died when building this. This day was one of our favourite days.

The following day was meant to be a restful day! It wasn't! We went to the Pearl Market to buy gifts for our family and then went to see the Ming Wall ruins which was built about 500 years ago. It was so pretty as it was built around a park. Then Tony wanted to see the Olypmic stadium. Once we got to the tube station it was a good 30 minutes walk and it wasn't signposted at all which was surprising. The stadium was huge and then we walked to the non-existant tube station and walked for two hours before we got home!

Our last day of the world tour!!! We went to see Mao's embalmed corpse. Just like all the other communist leaders, Mao's body lies there for everyone to see. Like Ho Chi Minh he didn't look real even more fake than Mr Minh.

Then we went to the summer palace which was like the forbidden city but this was their summer get away. We had hassle getting in as their was clearly a celebrity or VIP inside. There was loads of police and other security. Inside the summer palace were lakes and parks. The views were beautiful.

The next day we got our flight home. We were so sad our world tour ended but it was lucky that the tour ended in China. Tony was fed up with people walking slowly and getting in his way and we were both sick of people spitting in the street.

Wow we made it!